Hey baby, I'm still missing you. But you already know that, don't you? Thinking of you makes me want to cry, at least today. I know that you can't listen music from youtube but I wish you could, cause Jessica Lowndes has a great song called "Goodbye". It gives me hope but at the same time it makes me sad. God how I want a hug from you. "I'm sorry for breaking all the promises I wasn't around to keep". I'm filled with sorrow, I'm filled with pain because I know that this is all my fault. I should've told you what I felt for you. Well I know that I haven't learned from my mistakes. I still can't say what I feel. You know I'm the kind of girl who is very very shy. It's not my fault that god has made me this way. I just wish I could've told YOU! Everytime I'm in msn and I look at the persons who are offline, you pop out. I just can't delete you. I'm so scared that I'll forget you. Though sometimes I wish I would. i don't think anyone understands what I've been going through or still am. It's so horrible and so painful. I even wouldn't want this to my worst enemy. I keep dreaming, that one day you'll call me and say : " Sorry honey, I had to go away and make it look lika suicide. I've read your blog and I'm so sorry for making you feel this way" but I know that will never happen. I can't believe that it's been almost 3 years and I still haven't visited your grave. I'm so so scared that your mom will be there and that would be very weird and awkward. Anyway, I'm gonna hit the sack. Good night darling.
Your stupid girl
xoxo
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